sleep cause I am tired of thinking & I need the energy for the next day & so on . eat just for the sake of eating , I did not enjoy eating now days . smile for the sake of smiling . talk when I really need to talk . go to school for the sake of my mum, I did not enjoy myself in this course but I really learn a lot for this past 10 months . I so can't wait for next year cause I want to take up another course that I really interested in . Start anew in a different course , environment , learn a lot of new things & make new friends. work ? no comment about work right now, out of words . Exams is coming pretty soon. Is just not normal exams . MY FINAL EXAMS . It's time for me to pull up my socks ... left 6weeks for me to revise/study smart to gain the marks that I really deserve . I really need to PASS as it's for my mum sake & me , sort of . What I need most is : TIME & SUPPORT . Time to forget unhappy memories , time to recover , time to learn how to SMILE like the old cheerful girl in the universe kan fishy (?) , time to learn to accept that I have made the choice . The thing happened so what now yeah need time to REALLY move on & forget the past or not I will end up a LOSER . I don't want that .. All I want is to be happy & lead a bittersweet simple life with my lover , my best of friends , family , relatives & anyone out there . I don't need your or anyone pity-ness , I just need your EVERLASTING SUPPORT dearest . ESP my BEST FRIENDS SUPPORT (!) My dear bear , I MISS YOU SO MUCH . I know I am in the wrong . It's my fault . I know it's not fair . I know at times you feel you wanna give up . It's okay but I am pretty sure I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU & OUR FRIENDSHIP cause we have gone through so much of up&downs.I believe that we can go through this tight situation that we're in now cause we've gone through A LOT of DIFFERENT CHALLENGES. It's not easy for me to let you go no matter what if you belong to someone else . I tried to patch up things , here & there but I still cant find you & have you back .maybe not now , we need time . guess so . but I just wanna let you know that I AM MISSING YOU SO BADLY . IT'S A TORMENT FOR ME. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU (!) I FEEL LOST W/O YOU . A part of me is lost . I really hope you would give me a another chance , accept me for who I am . Love , I hope you're safe over there . Your words made me cry so badly. Why must you make my heart go " BOOM BOOM AWW " ? but anyway thank you for letting me felt that way . I can't wait for your return . I MISS YOU SO MUCH (!) Thank you for being there for me 24/7 since we're friends & till now . Thank you for EVERYTHING (!) I am really really really LUCKY to have you & THANKFUL to allah . I LOVE YOU FE & E .

that's all for today . I just praying hard that tomorrow will be better day for me & everyone & the rest of the days :)

Sunflowy Girl
7:36 AM