Beautifully Imperfect Sunflower

you really surprised me today , you really did .

I must admit at times I doubt you , but hey c'mon I am pretty sure you have doubt about me before right ? So yeah we're pretty plain human beings . All I could say thank you again for traveling with me for almost 7 hours . Thank you for accompanying me to the clinic , thank you for being there when I was really sad because the fact is make-up & me does not click at all :(

Well for now , I have to build up some confidence in me . Believe that this season will go soon .

Buddy , you really made me laughed so hard today . I swear you did , you really did .

Thank you for being here always around the clock to check on me . Thank you for the sacrifice you made for me today . You're my strength , you never fails to be here always luh deng :

Ohhh buddy buddy , do come back to FA pretty please ... cause when christmas strike I'll go home alone . Orchard will be so crowded as expected right ? so yeah COME BACK SOON !

We all miss you like seriously only the part-timers . LOL at least something (;

Sunflowy Girl
11:07 AM

Time is very precious .

Lately , I have to rush here & there to settle things .

Lately , I have been busy . And at times you are nowhere to be found .

Lately , I have been quieter . I am changing again .

Lately , everybody need time to spend time with their loved ones ,do things that they love & etc .

Well oh well , all I could do now is to treasure every moments spend with my loved ones (:

Thank you for today ashraf . Even it is for a short period of time we spend together , I truly appreciate & treasure it for sure :D Don't blame yourself for december cause I never ever have this intention too blame you . What matter most that ; we understand each other busy schedules. Hope to see ya again bro !

Sunflowy Girl
11:43 AM

Btw , this is rusydan . I took this picture while he's sleeping at the same time smiling .

I bet he knows that his aunty ina is taking his photo (;

From the bottom of my heart , I would like to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO MY ONE & ONLY HONEY-Babeng (: Thank you for helping me always w/o fail .

I owe you one box of chewy junior eh ? Winks*

Seeya babies & zhu next monday ! huhuhu !

Sunflowy Girl
12:07 PM

as the day passes by our love become stronger each day . I just wanna thank you for everything you do for us . I wanna thank you for not saying forever word to me . I wanna thank you for always saying " Insyallah " (:

It makes me feel a lot better than saying you " I promise you ..... " a lot of guys said that huh . You always say that you are not the typical guys out there , you said you were different from them & all you wanna do is prove me wrong that you are YOU . And you are not like them .

It's weird w/o you at night but then again all I could say is take care of yourself & please remember that no matter how busy you'll be I am not gonna judge or leave cause I understand you fully . I am not even complaining to anyone that you're always busy where as I am always here waiting for you to reach home safely . Believe it or not I am worrying about you right now ... HAHAHA kental me , I am just worried someone out there would kidnap my buddy :(

ohh well bottom line is that you are a guy -________- , you should know how to take care of yourself . I guess . HAHAHA ! I can't wait to see you again , spending time with you is all I need .

Yes all I need is time for us , that's all (:

Today I saw the moon . WAHHH it's soooooooo BESAAAAAAAAAR ! Bright lagi , fuhlamak cair aku untuk sementara . And it reminds me of us in the past . Still remember when we're friends ?? I count the stars while crossing the road . HAHAH nasib tak mati -_________- .

Okay love , see you soon ~

Sunflowy Girl
11:38 AM

the actual fact is I can never be cruel like what you expect me to be .

yes , I maybe so convincing when I am mad with someone but then again I can never be that type of person like seriously .

yes , I ever hate this particular person but now slowly I am letting that feelings go away .

yes , till now I can never let the horrible monster rest in peace . NEVER . only to that monster .

so yeah basically , I can never ask people to join force with me when I commit any sins .

Well , I always be a soft-hearted girl no matter what . I am glad if you know that just don't take advantage of me . By the way today was awesome , meeting my two N's . They make my day , I can't wait to meet nabilah to watch harry potter next week probably . At least someone has the same interest with me . Huhuhu jiwa kawan sentiasa lalalaala :)

Sadly , when december comes someone has to go away :(

Now , I am stuck in the middle . To welcome december or not .

Night lovely Souls ♥

Sunflowy Girl
9:06 AM

“It takes a boy to say he’s different but a man to actually show it. It takes a girl to give up and assume every guy is the same but it takes a woman to give chances through the pain.”

Sunflowy Girl
9:05 AM

again , it's different w/o you . but I am lucky cause mom & bro make my night a memorable one.

late night supper & supermarket shopping :D

I can't wait to welcome DECEMBER ! so many happening things gonna happen soon . Insyallah , Amin (:

Sunflowy Girl
11:04 AM

Today I fall in love with the yellowish-brown color kitten , all thanks to hady for spotting the kitten near the road side .

Today you & me saved the kitten but sadly I must admit I can't bear to leave the kitten just now. I wish I could bring it home :(

Lastly today I didn't expected it from YOU .

I didn't expect that you would ganged up with Dil to surprised me , plus hady too.

Yes , I am touched cause I thought today was just to celebrate Myra's Birthday but nehhh .

You surprised me luh pulak !!

Terima Kasih Cinta♥♥♥

Sunflowy Girl
10:26 AM

Happy 5th month Dear Sabrina. (:

Your one and only well-fleshed lover. (:

Sunflowy Girl
10:19 AM

If you were to be in my place do you think you can survive this for 18 years ?

If you were to be me , making sacrifices that will haunt you forever do you think you can pretend like me ?

If you were to be in my place , do you think you can forgive someone who had not take good care of you when you're still a newborn till you're grown up now ?

If you were to be me , do you think you can be patient & tolerate with all the shits that people keep giving you every single day ?

If you were to be me , do you think you can SMILE & LAUGH every single day ?

If you were to be in my place , do you think you can survive alone when you were in your lowest point or when you have to let go of something that you wish you don't have to but it's for the sake of someone future you let go in the end ?

If you were to be me , do you think you can stand up for yourself when people say something that will bring you down or make you feel like you don't have a dignity ?

If you were to be me , do you think you can endure with those different kinds of weather for every months plus when you've a skin problem that will irritated you almost every time ?

Lastly , if you were to be me ... do you think you can FORGIVE someone or some human beings who have hurt you so bad till you almost lost grip of yourself ? it's not that kind of hurt , but the hurt that you'll never forget for your entire life till your last breath . The hurt that make you lose your soul.

Now think , do you think you can be like me in the very first place ?

but I will always remind myself that in this world there's some people who is more unfortunate than me & that's why I have becoming more & more thankful & learn to be more grateful in what I have right now . Cause I might not know when & where , Allah gonna take all the things I have right now away from me .... Just be thankful people (:

Sunflowy Girl
9:56 AM

So please all I want was your understanding . I want you to understand me . please give me a break , I never want this kind of sickness in the very first place . it's a torture but yet it's a blessing in disguise that only me who can see it . It's not that I want to be sick , but it's fated .

I am a hard-working person , I am serious about my work . But when my sickness strike me how am I suppose to act like I am not sick ? That my skin was so flawless ? it's crazy -_____-

At times , how I wish I could stop thinking about other people feelings for once . But maybe I can never change . I am a very soft-hearted girl ... but once I hate that someone . I will hate him/her to the core of my life . But again when the right times come I will forgive sincerely .

So now let me just tell you , you can NEVER be like me (:

And at times you take things for granted . At times you took me for granted too .

At times you don't care about my feelings . How I wish I could call you a slut & make you cry but I can never do that cause I am not bad like you .

I will always have been enduring with people remarks , attitude & so on but one fine day I will turn to be a person that you never expect . Pray hard that I won't show my inhuman side (;

Sunflowy Girl
9:55 AM

HUUUUUUUUG♥♥♥

Sunflowy Girl
10:06 AM

Today , I remember you . To me you're a blessing in disguise . Maybe they can't see but me yes I can see & feel that you're special regardless of what . Never ever will I forget you ... (:

And at times when I am alone , I wish you were here beside me holding my hand to guide you .

Moving on is never easy , forgetting you will never be my choice in this world cause baby you're one in a billion . I am missing you ... :(

Sunflowy Girl
10:00 AM

And of course , I LOVE Rusydan too . I can't deny that today I had so much fun with those little 3R's . Rusyaidi - Rusydina - Rusydan♥

Sunflowy Girl
9:56 AM

I wish she love me like how she love him but maybe just maybe we're different . & today I have learnt that even if she love him more than me ... I'll still love her cause now I am left with one her in this wide world . It's not that I don't wish to visit you , mama . Just that seeing & knowing that each of your children's talking about your wealth will soon driving me & her crazy . But I am grateful cause today I get the chance to touched your hand , kiss your cheeks after 2 months plus of not seeing you . I hope you'll continue to stay strong . Yes , I do love you . I still remember the day he left all of us behind , the day when I had my end of the year exams for sec 3 . I love you & I love him too even though I am not that close to you & I am not your favorite grandchild . It's okay mama , you're one of my good role models. You're a awesome , kind-hearted , patient , beautiful grandmother .... Thank you for taking care of me when I was a little baby & thank you for sharing your love towards me till today & months , years to come . Insyallah (:

I just hope that you won't leave us behind so soon , cause mama I am scared of the truth later on .I am scared when people & things change . I am scared when people become greedy & good out of a sudden just cause of wealth that won't bring you no where near Allah . I will pray hard that you'll keep staying strong . I promise I will try my best to stand up for the truth when the day comes. Love you mama♥♥♥ .

Sunflowy Girl
9:32 AM

I wanna thank ashraf again for surprising me with the things I love .

You don't have to buy me things to cheer me up , please remember that . Yes , I can't deny that I was expecting you to fetch me tonight. Cause by seeing you & having you by my side make me smile a lot . Really I am not kidding bro . Unexpected much today again is just not my luck , I had to helped count & organize all the new stocks for christmas with wendy for freaking 6 hours plus like that . Tiring much but I was paid to that & it is part of my job of being shift runner .

Doing closing alone with all the new stocks gonna make me go nuts soon , seriously I just can't wait for christmas so that the shop will be neat , tidy & presentable once again . Of course I keep praying hard for MIRACLE to happen in my life .

Hopefully , I am one of the chosen ones among them . Praying hard almost every day , I keep telling ash to say a prayer for me too . I can't wait to be one of them but at the same time I am sad , the thought of leaving FA soon just make me feel worst.

I really truly love & treasure every members of FA including GIGI too .

I must admit now I have to think about myself , only ME . my future sake (:

So yeah , ashraf came down w/o telling me & yes I was surprised of course !

I can't deny that I feel so shy just now when he bought me my favorite flower , chocolate & drink. Thank you for going the extra miles just to see a smile on my face , to make my migraine go away . Thank you so much ashraf , well I must admit that you're full of surprises too like me .

I guess sooner or later you'll be PRO like me of surprising people every time .

How lucky I am to have you as a lover at the same time buddy & brother .

I'll see you soon , have fun embek-ing tomorrow ♥

Sunflowy Girl
11:05 AM

I feel pissed every time she nagged about him .

I feel hurt every time when I heard her words .

I feel so disappointed every time she compared you & him .

Well , all I could say that you're totally different from him .

TOTALLY DIFFERENT (:

Today is just not my day . Early in the morning her nags keep me feeling so moody .

I keep wondering why can't she stop talking about him . For god sake or my sake of moving on please just don't talk about him or some people who is related to him .

I feel so miserable inside , why can't you understand me ?

I had enough of the past mom .

I seek for Allah every time when I am down , when I can't depend on anyone .

I thought I was gonna go through alone today but again Allah is always been kind to me even after so many things had happened . I prayed hard so that Allah could give me strength , patience all over again to face her when I reach home tonight . My prayers was answered when she called me at work telling me she had cooked my favorite sardines , told me to go home early.

And so I did went home early & watched korean drama with her .

Syukur Alhamdullilah , I'll always love you mom .

Ibu , I know you want the best for your only daughter . Please have faith in me , believe me & lastly trust me like how I trust you to protect me every time .

I can never hate you mom , I just hate when you mention anything about that person who makes me feel so " yikes " .

Sunflowy Girl
10:38 AM

" After a break up, guys do things thats damaging, hoping that the physical pain would overpower their emotional pain so they start smoking/drinking etc. Whereas girls usually cut their hair or delete their blogs/fb/msn so that they can get away from reality and start a new. "

Haha it reminds of me man ! Usually after a break-up I will cut my hair . But what the heck I have changed NO MORE cutting my smooth , straight & at times wavy hair after a break-up . As promised (:

Sunflowy Girl
10:17 PM

Brother , I just wanna say that your size does not matter at all to me . So what if you're more fleshy than me ? so what if they're skinny & fit ? no matter what at the end , they're still human beings just that the size is different . Who says fleshy people can't be in love with pretty/handsome girls or guys ? Only people with small brains will think that way . Everyone will feel insecure & everyone always need everyone to make them feel happy , love , secure & at some point of time you do need to feel sad too . So please you don't have to worry much about your size but watch what you eat alright ? (; . Remember the bounce back game ? I wish one fine day we could play that together . the day when I turn " s " size to "xL " size . heee I bet you're the first person to be so happy when the day come . HAHAHA ! but too bad I always watch what I eat :p Insyallah , tak gemok luh aku ni .

" I love the way you are . There's not a thing I would change . Cause you're amazing , amazing just the way you are . " Bear that in mind , Forever & Always (:

Sunflowy Girl
9:54 PM

Thank you for being such a lovely brother & lover too . Thank you for treating me good all this while .( umm...about the bad parts let's just forget about it ) Thank you too for thinking that I am a boy that you think you can joke roughly with me .

( but the actual fact is ; I am a girl,a unique 1 )

I feel so happy today spending time with you , with you by my side as we walked I feel safe .

I keep on smiling & laughing today , do you notice that ? that today ; I am different (;

I just fear that things will change . I am scared when things change & when people do . It's scary & weird too . If I get in , things will change from there . I will be busy ... From there onwards things , people , situation will change . I am super super scared whenever I think I get that offer . Damn it , but to think again it's for my future . I'll just keep continue praying hard that my loved ones will understand me like how I understand them every time when they're busy with their work & own life(s) . No matter what happen(s) , I still need my loved ones support .

Before people change their attitude ; they'll say no I won't change a bit but after they have change they start to give reasons why(s) . Through out my 18 years , I have seen a lot of changes in my loved ones including myself . At times I feel happy but most of the time , I feel hurt w/o them notice it . Sigh , I wish things would stay the same but it's impossible .

& all I need was your trust if I did get that offer . Winks*

Sunflowy Girl
9:29 PM

" The best part about being in-love is when you just love the person and you are happy about it. Even if that person can never be yours, even if you know it can’t last forever. That’s the true essence of love. It is not about winning someone and it is not about owning a relationship. It is about being happy because you know you have loved someone and it is about being guiltless because you know that you did not take away someone from anybody. You just loved, and loved unselfishly."

(via silentkeeper80)

Sunflowy Girl
9:19 PM

Hmmm .... Lala .

Sunflowy Girl
11:34 AM

I thought things would be fine between us after we had sorted things out . But I realized that you changed after the meet-up . Only YOU . I wish you would stay the same . Shower me with love , care , concern , finding me almost everyday but you surprised me with your changes in one day .

I can't deny that I miss the old you real bad . I miss you so much that lately at night I cried myself to sleep . You were my best friend , my true friend but now things changed just over a guy ? I must admit I am disappointed in you . I am not in the wrong cause I know what I am doing is right . Can't you see that I am trying to get things clear for once , I want you & us to stop being suspicious over him liking her but too bad you see that my good intention is like breaking you & him apart . At first , I don't give a damn to you . But after few days of not hearing from you I made the first move to text you & the way you replied me just break my heart .

At that moment , I realized you changed cause of me .

You changed cause I was doing the right thing . You changed because you can't accept the fact that I told him the truth & he told me the truth too . You can't accept the fact that I was trying my best to save this 6 years of friendship between us .

You may changed to be what so ever , but my love for you will always remain the same .

Yes , I can't deny the fact that I really really LOVE my girls a lot .

Without them it's just different . I have gone through a lot with them , I wish I could make them so close like real blood sisters but at times is impossible . But I won't give up yet , NEVER .

I will always try my best to bring them back alive together , I will bring all the good old memories we had together . I promise .

I will never give up in this friendship even if there's another obstacles ahead of me .

I'll be stronger each day , I'll be more daring . Yes , I will do what it takes for me to save this friendship . Ego will never be inside of me , I will make sure I love you girls equally be it nabilah . nadrah , salwa & nurrahaan .

We're a group of complicated girlfriends but the love we had for each other is beyond words (:

Sunflowy Girl
10:34 AM

I've never stopped loving you. Never. Never once it crossed my mind. I Love You. :)

Ash-Ke-Ash ♥

Sunflowy Girl
10:38 AM

Sunflowy Girl
12:49 PM

Yesterday we celebrated Kak dayah 21st birthday in advance since she gonna take 5 days off from work. Mind you ! 5 days like a torture to me . I am gonna see wendy face again . All I could do is to endure but if I can't take it anymore I will let it all out . Yes I have seen her in her ugly attitude , I wonder when is my turn . HAHAHA so what every part-timers have the right to stand up for themselves . So what if you're supervisor or whatever shit higher ranks than me . After all we're just humans being . Small world mind you , whatever goes around comes around ^_^ .

It's not that I detest her or what just that at times she really pissed me off .

I had fun karaoke with my beautiful Selenge Sister's , we sang our hearts out for freaking 2 hours & 12 minutes . Nisa & me danced like crazy like we own that place . Now I can't deny the fact that I am hooked with "super-Juniors" already all thanks to NISA -__- . hahaha boyfie is somehow don't like it . Overall , the outing is simple yet memorable . Always sisters♥

Till we dance & sing our hearts out again another time :)

Sunflowy Girl
12:16 PM

You think I am pretty without any make up on . I am pleased to say that natural beauty is the best no matter what . I dare to show my wrinkles , it's all due to the hard work of laughing most of the times .

But sadly to say I am starting to love blusher . HAHAHA banyak-banyak benda blusher -___-.

I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I am with you . Yes indeed , there's still shy-ness in me whenever you did something that melts me or whenever I see you eye to eye . HAHAHA dah berapa lam kawan pun aku masih malu . KENTAL -__- . Thanks to the long bus ride , I ate a lot today . I wanna thank you again as usual you make me feel alive no matter what .

Thank you for able to stay strong even though you know you're going to be sick .

Thank you for spending time with me Ash . I really appreciate it .

I am sorry for any wrong doings for today , like I say I am just being me you've to accept that I can't change my personality of being talkative .

THANK YOU for understand me that deep & well ♥.

who could ever think that today you might lose me , who ever think that today is another day that I fall in love with you again ;)

Sunflowy Girl
11:42 AM

This is what " JJ " made of . Always been entertaining each other craps . I can't deny the fact that Abang danial was our hot topic of the day all thanks to a picture that was taken . & thanks to Abang iman & madi for spotted the picture & by telling abang wan things is very hard to handle already -____- . & now all the makciks & pakciks knows already . Where should I hide my face?

Water Face drop you know , thanks to zhu for making things more worst .

I am glad abang danial knows who I am in love with . Thank god :)

So the next time I see or meet abang danial , there's nothing to worry about . huhuhu !

ZHU , I LOVE YOU ! setan kau pun aku tetap layan tau .

Darah aku memang menyirap tapi apa nak buat dah takdir kena kacau teruk-teruk lagi . TSK.

lagipun aku sayang cousins aku yang gila yet gerek sentiasa :)

xoxo , JJ .

Sunflowy Girl
10:22 PM

Can't deny the fact that I can't even keep my mouth shut for freaking 5 minutes unless I feel sad . I can't deny that I am talkative to only close friends & family . I can't deny the fact that I am alway friendly & that's the reason why I have a lot of friends . I can't deny the fact that I do hate at times . But now things gonna change slowly . I will learn to forgive & love all over again . It's better this way .

I wanna thank this someone special for accepting & loving me till today . Even after he knows how's my attitude works like. One fact that I will never deny that I will always sleep like an oink . but there's improvements you know ;)

again thank you for everything . There's more to come .

Insyallah :)

Sunflowy Girl
10:20 PM