Beautifully Imperfect Sunflower

hello readers :D I had so much fun today , I woke up late & did not go to school . My body was aching & I am so worn out cause of yesterday I met my lovely sayangs at city hall & entertain my relatives from malaysia once I reached home . was damn tired . But overall I had FUN . Went to parkway parade for work interview after that met up with my sayangs.I had so much fun with nadrah & nabilah . haha the first thing I do when I saw nadrah , I hugged her (!) haha it's been like ages we both did not meet each other . Nabilah was being a toot trying to makes us being so sweet & cute with each other . haha had our dinner at sakura , we talked & laughed a lot . Both of them make me like a fool when I pronounce the word " squid " as "siiii-squiddd" & when nadrah told one of the waiter(a mat some more , malu sey ) that I was being a blur sotong . Thank you nadrah for the treat , thank you nabilah for being funny & thank you for making my day worthwhile :] eh people nadrah jadi OKB for now ajer :p . hahaha (!)

Friday(that's today) , I do have the intention to go to school but then my body can't take it anymore it's like the body telling me ... " please let me rest " . haha (!) so whatever it is , I met nurrahaan & ela to finish up our BEO event proposal . In the end , we just do some discussions & the rest I still need to finish it up by sunday . damn it luh no rest for me . except tomorrow :] After that , I went over to my uncle house to give a surprise visit to my RUSYAI-DINA love (!) Like finally , I had the chance to meet them . I was so happy to see both of them & the rest of course . Rusyaidi is becoming more handsome & thinner . Ish boncit balik uh , ni mesti aunty zanna suruh kau exercise kan (?) joking . Dina is prettier day by day . Her eyes , her face & everything can make people think that she belong to chinese family . haha (!) whatever it is , aunty ina & zanna love you both :] Around 10+ we all went to eat at malay coffeeshop : we eat & eat & eat then it's time for us to say goodbye around 11.45pm . So I walked home alone , as usual my uncle & aunties is worried about me as I AM A GIRL & they scared if something happened to me . But what to do since primary 3 , I was trained to be independent as my both of my parents is busy working . I am used to be independent & just be happy with school life & friends :]
I enjoyed ruzanna company today as she's being one of a kind zhu :p . She cracked stupid jokes about guys going toilet in groups just to molest each other less than 5mins & me cracked jokes about my grandma sang a latest song ever (!) Thanks my cousin-zhu :]

Not to be forgotten , ariffin-love :] I remembered about you even though I am busy today unlike YOU :p . Well he is having leadership camp in school so yeah the whole day he was so so so so BUSY accidentally forgot about his lover . Never mind , he was lucky enough that I was well prepared for today & I was being understanding . I was amazed that I did not text or even call him for 6hours . hooorrayyy (!) In the end , he called me . loser loser loser (!) satu-kosong :]
we talked for awhile , blah blah blah & tut tut tut I hanged up cause he's sleepy already . So yeah meeting him tomorrow . Will be going out with his auntie , little sister , auntie lover to watch "THIS IS IT , MJ " yay (!) Gonna enjoy my weekends even though sunday will be my nightmare.

that's all folks :]
Have a nice weekends readers (!) 4weeks left for my final exams ~

Sunflowy Girl
10:40 AM

you've changed . I have changed too . I just don't want to be the reason too , I hope you understand . The person really mean something to you maybe alot . I realised I don't deserve that attitude from you cause I din't give you any SHIT at the end of the day except love . I maybe irratating most of the time but I wonder why are you still here . Every bad words Ive said to you , I say it back to myself . you're not the only bad one , I am too . Because of the sucky attitude & excuses the person gave , you treating me like this . want me, so treat me well . never blamed me before but the attitude of yours telling me I am to be blame . for goodness sake , if the person mean something to you , go clear up the mess . No point having me & treating me like this . You're hurting me inside ~

ps; from now onwards , I'll hang up first . won't wonder why must I be first to hang up anymore . tvm .

Labels: where you stand ., you know who you are

Sunflowy Girl
9:03 PM

hello earthlings , I have a good news . I am so over the moon . I was surprised that my special someone replied my message & again & again . you WOW me dearest :) okay you're the BEST , you're the SWEETEST (!) I swear . hahahaha ! okay like finally the day has come , the misery has come to an end ... syukur alhamdulilah :) okay I can't wait to see you . ohmy it feels like the first time I meet you . start anew , start afresh sayang ! I do have lesbian & gay friends , indeed you can insult them . but WHATEVER it is I'll stand up for them (!) No one is perfect , that's final . My friend said to me , if I were to school at girls school she bet now I will be a lesbian. okay friend , you so gonna be a tomboy one day when you're so TIRED of boys . I bet you will :p what she says about me , will NEVER come true (!) Even my special someone wanna kiss me on the cheek , I don't want (but that was in sec life) Now I want :) haha ! my special someone you know who you are .

Life for me is bittersweet .

Girls makes me go wild , boys making me bored each day except him . Nurrahaan can be such a nag but I love her always . Shazly is her BFF & he can be irratating at times but he advised me alot . Nadrah , Nabilah & Salwa : IMY girls alot (!) not to forget I miss catherine too (!) Ruzanna & Rusyai-dina love : IMY you 3 also (!) meet up soon . What I miss most is : SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE . I miss the part when I saw hot stuff lingers around at every corner of the school . hahaha ! I miss the part when we're having our recess & we played card games & the part when me & herlyna vibrate non-stop only nadrah will feel it . it sounds so wrong . whatever . I miss working life so badly , I need to work back . haha ! I am a workaholic person . I miss my god-brother , he is MIA . that's all .

Hopefully , tomorrow is a better day for us :)
- 5weeks left for final exams . mugging hard in school (70%) at home 30% .

Labels: :) bittersweet

Sunflowy Girl
7:08 AM

listening to Black Eyed Peas : Meet me halfway . It reminds me of someone that ive been wanting to meet so much . it's been awhile I din't see you nor touch your hand & do your hair like you always asked me to . I want to meet you so badly , that's my only wish . Today went out with ariffin again . irratating toot ( terlanjur hantar dvd jumpa luh sabrina kan ? ) hahaha funny . we watched a movie , " My Sister's Keeper " . was crying non-stop , heh sorry luv . I was being emotional luh kan . The movie really touched my heart & make me go hyper mermaid .. like woosh woosh piak piak big fat fish ! hahahaha ! I really enjoyed watching the movie with you , today is like the best day for this week . hahah it's like finally I laughed . Really laughed not faking it . I felt that I found myself . like finally :) then something happened when someone lied again . I was clever enough not to let those lies & hurt ruin my day luh . haha ! whatever it is , I felt so happy today ... syukur alhamdullilah . but still something is a miss .

so yeah school have been great . 5weeks more to final exams . I really gonna miss OE atmosphere esp that girl voice " suzanna " . Im so gonna miss nurrahaan for being my classmate since sec 1 till now . haha ! went for a night jog , felt so good :) :) :) reached home , then mom said she is gonna go for a date with my dad . tmrw is my mom birthday ! gosh ... so guess what ? Im gonna bake her a cake . wee !

luv , thank you for today . everyday . no wait , since we're friends . haha ! & to my rakan baru : CHEER UP DEAR :) It's gonna be hard but slowly time will heal the pain . I was in your shoes before I met this irratating toot . Im sorry for my behaviour , it's just me . It's not that I don't trust you or whatever . alamak I over-reacted luh .. sorry . ( I still owe you a apology ) saying sorry at here , is not enough. Hope you're fine . kinda miss you :( . Take care , my rakan baru !

Nights people !
hopefully is a better day for everyone (:

Sunflowy Girl
8:56 AM

Labels: for love, gf's ., my family and friends. Take care :)

Sunflowy Girl
4:27 AM

" I wished my girlfriends is like your girlfriends who is perfect & wait for you when you exited the clinic but too bad they are not like your girlfriends but I still LOVE my girlfriends & accept them for who they are & most importantly they are beautifully imperfect " :)

Labels: gf's ., you are missed by me

Sunflowy Girl
7:29 AM

"If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

yang , iloveyou more than you know . sometimes I may be annoying & you may be irratating but still we love each other & we can't get enough of each other . We have made a big mistake but now we trying our best to change for the better & make things go smoothly like we have done in the very first start . One year ago , I still had no idea you were about to become the best thing that's ever happened to me . When girls are little they think, especially the romantic, impressionable ones, that they will meet a boy who will sweep them off their feet and everything will be rosy and there will be nothing wrong and everything will be fixed. As girls grow up they realise that that is just a fairy tale and that real life is not like that. Having you in my life and knowing that you love me doesn’t fix things, it does something better. It gives me the strength to face my problems head on, it gives me the courage to do the things I should and to try things that scare me. Thank you, for loving me and giving me the strength to be a better person. I love you, you mean everything to me."

Lots of love , your only annoying mermy :)

Labels: this post is for you irratating pathetic potato :p

Sunflowy Girl
6:08 AM

I LOVE YOU , also means :i love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, i love you in a way that no one loves you,or has loved you, or will love you, and also,i love you in a way that i love no one else, and never have loved anyone else,and never will love anyone else.
“ - j.s Foer.

Labels: for all :)

Sunflowy Girl
9:22 AM

I know I am not alone but I feel that I am alone . I am left with our diary , the least the diary could do is bear every bittersweet words that I wrote . but I don't want to confide in the diary, I NEED YOU . I hope you know who you are . The truth hurt , I AM TRULY SORRY .

sleep cause I am tired of thinking & I need the energy for the next day & so on . eat just for the sake of eating , I did not enjoy eating now days . smile for the sake of smiling . talk when I really need to talk . go to school for the sake of my mum, I did not enjoy myself in this course but I really learn a lot for this past 10 months . I so can't wait for next year cause I want to take up another course that I really interested in . Start anew in a different course , environment , learn a lot of new things & make new friends. work ? no comment about work right now, out of words . Exams is coming pretty soon. Is just not normal exams . MY FINAL EXAMS . It's time for me to pull up my socks ... left 6weeks for me to revise/study smart to gain the marks that I really deserve . I really need to PASS as it's for my mum sake & me , sort of . What I need most is : TIME & SUPPORT . Time to forget unhappy memories , time to recover , time to learn how to SMILE like the old cheerful girl in the universe kan fishy (?) , time to learn to accept that I have made the choice . The thing happened so what now yeah need time to REALLY move on & forget the past or not I will end up a LOSER . I don't want that .. All I want is to be happy & lead a bittersweet simple life with my lover , my best of friends , family , relatives & anyone out there . I don't need your or anyone pity-ness , I just need your EVERLASTING SUPPORT dearest . ESP my BEST FRIENDS SUPPORT (!) My dear bear , I MISS YOU SO MUCH . I know I am in the wrong . It's my fault . I know it's not fair . I know at times you feel you wanna give up . It's okay but I am pretty sure I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU & OUR FRIENDSHIP cause we have gone through so much of up&downs.I believe that we can go through this tight situation that we're in now cause we've gone through A LOT of DIFFERENT CHALLENGES. It's not easy for me to let you go no matter what if you belong to someone else . I tried to patch up things , here & there but I still cant find you & have you back .maybe not now , we need time . guess so . but I just wanna let you know that I AM MISSING YOU SO BADLY . IT'S A TORMENT FOR ME. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU (!) I FEEL LOST W/O YOU . A part of me is lost . I really hope you would give me a another chance , accept me for who I am . Love , I hope you're safe over there . Your words made me cry so badly. Why must you make my heart go " BOOM BOOM AWW " ? but anyway thank you for letting me felt that way . I can't wait for your return . I MISS YOU SO MUCH (!) Thank you for being there for me 24/7 since we're friends & till now . Thank you for EVERYTHING (!) I am really really really LUCKY to have you & THANKFUL to allah . I LOVE YOU FE & E .

that's all for today . I just praying hard that tomorrow will be better day for me & everyone & the rest of the days :)

Sunflowy Girl
7:36 AM

I AM STILL LAUGHING , THERE'S MORE OF NONSENSE THAT MAKE ME LAUGH (!)

Nadd loves you said :
arghh!!!
tak habis2 ngan MONYET KAU!
Bingit uhs.
Ckp je laa you have that FEELING.
oppsy.
who 's that GUY ... nah..nah..nah..
WATEVA !!

Sally's Salwa's Said :
Big Ears is Hawtt Stuff[:
OMG!here goes again.pfftt.
:DDDDDD
please STOP looking at him.Its getting late..
mine more handsome.*bluek*

hah (!) I still remember those times in secondary school when our class need to go CPA lesson ME & NUR always take the longer route as we want to see HOTSTUFF FACE . DOUBLE FAIZ:)hahahaha , now he's not a hotsuff anymore cause he is chubby now (!)Another faiz is belong to NUR : Still hotsuff except he's attached to someone already . muahahaha(!) Mine one still single mingle . hahaha (!) OMY OMY I MISS SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE (!)

Labels: you people make me laughed :)

Sunflowy Girl
8:20 PM

HELLO EARTHLINGS (!) Gee , I woke up early today . Called him up to ask whether the breakfast is still ON or not . His reponse is : ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz .... Thanks eh fishy (!) I was thinking about what to do if I use my laptop ? So I decided to go friendster & read all my old comments . hahaha very funny to the max . I kept laughing until my mom said : ish pagi-pagi main laptop . laptop . laptop . ketawa pagi-pagi . tak makan ubat eh ? I said : ewah ewah , dah terlalu makan banyak pills tu sebab jadi gini . hahahaha (!) UBATLAH AKIBATNYA AKU JAGI GINI , TAK BETUL . IM SO HIGH (!) . Omy gawd , I can't stop laughing when I read all my comments at Friendster . ish can be CRAZY (!) so here's some sentences & lyrics that really make me laughed early in the morning . okay , ILOVEYOU people (!)

REMEMBER THIS LYRICS(?)

Berkaliku Nyatakan Ku Sygkan Pada Mu Namun Kau Masih Membisu...

{ FROM SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO ME }
I hope you remember this words you wrote for me ^_^

I mish you.

i mish you.
i mish the time when ACE period u , Tied my Hair Nicely & Neatly.
i mish ur Laughter.
i mish ur Smile.
i mish ur Bubbly.
i mish ur Aloe-Vera..euu !
i mish ur comb.
i mish ur Mirror.
i mish ..i mish..i mish..

{ FROM A KENTAL GUY , OHH NO A GEEK . NERD , IS BETTER :) }
hey kental!
of course pathetic potato is still alive .
:D
Anyway, you can keep my sweater luh . buat kenangan . LOL
haha im getting a new one anyway !
fe&e
fin-credible :p

I hate blogger , the date & time always wrong (!) ish it supposed to be SATURDAY (!) :(
haha i am still laughing , okay I feel better . I feel so much better when I make him like a fool (!)
I know I am such a GIRL , thanks for loving me anyway kental (!)
IMISSYOU , YANG :D & I AM MISSING MY GIRLS TOOOEYYY :D

Labels: :)

Sunflowy Girl
7:26 PM

Forget you not, though time may pass , though months turn into years , though memories of you may hurt & cause me to cry tears. Let tears fall free...don't hold them in, release my pent-up pain & when tears come ...let healing come , embrace me once again. Until the time we embrace , when all things are made new ... Acknowlegde me , help others know or see the pain your choice brought you . The pain won't always hurt that much & bitter tears will cease . Though bittersweet memories will stay , There's a way to peace .

ps;I'll never forget you you. You will always be in my heart . love you dearest .

Labels: :) love you FE and E ...

Sunflowy Girl
11:03 PM

every night is the same drama . but now the drama is getting worst . I want to go through with this but I don't for how long can I endure with this pain. it really hurts , I can't even sleep well . when I wake up in the morning , ish panda eyes (!) its been almost 4days . gosh tired & exhausted . But like finally I wanna put it to a rest so I said : I DON'T CARE (!) Whatever it is do what you wanna do . If you think im selfish & unreasonable , whatever okay . say what you want to say . CRAPS (!) I am not heartless , I don't wish to see ya sad , so if that make you happy do what you think is good for you . I'll respect your decision & be there for you . Thanks for giving me a chance , I know you'll never stop giving me chances . Thank you very much :) . I won't say anything anymore & rakan baru thanks for the message ... it really means alot to me . Im truly sorry . I created the mess but now I want to clean it up . still I don't think it's too late boy .... so boy KEEP TRYING (!) my rakan baru is your only best friend . your best friend has only you to confide in . I finally understand everything ..I am sorry once again for the mess that I created . & I have NEVER EVER want to hate you & I don't even hate you now . After all loving & accepting someone sincerely is the best feeling ever (!) (: I really wanna share my joy with my closet friends, but not now . ada crisis , hahaha (!) so I guess my rakan baru , I wanna share my joy with you . Would you forgive me for the mistakes I have done & give me a chance (?)

ps; I just accept someone willingly & sincerely like 4days ago . At first its kinda hard but I tried my very best to learn to accept it . In the end , I did it(!) At first im scared but when I know you were there for me like FE&E I felt better . MUCH BETTER that makes me so overjoyed (!) thank you love for standing by me , thank you my rakan baru for sharing the j0y with us . "REZEKI" daripada allah , SYUKUR ALHAMDULLILAH (!)

Labels: Im sorry :(

Sunflowy Girl
4:59 PM

" EVERYONE WAS SO HAPPY , WHEN IT COMES TO RAYA EH "

we get alot of " KECING , KECING " $ $ $
&
I love them so much . I really hope you people above in the pictures be there for me & give me your precious & sincere support ever (!) (:
I so can't wait to raya with my OE mates tmrw (!) yay yay (!)

Labels: :)

Sunflowy Girl
3:29 AM

did you ever feel so lost until you don't know who you can turn to (?) did you ever feel that your friends will do or say something behind your back after you tell them your problems (?) did you ever feel that the sky is falling down (?) did you ever feel so great for the first time when you tell your gf/bf about your problems (?) or did you ever feel afraid if someone sabo you & tell your secrets out (?) Maybe it's better to keep it to yourself if you don't really know who can you turn to . At times you've so many persons that you can trust but when you encounter a big "problem" that makes you think twice who is the first person you're gonna tell & share the pain with.

Well at least the first person I turn to is a stranger , sort of . not a close person to me . hmm ... well I can say that she's my new friend . *winkwink* finally dah kawan , happy tak (?) all the way , she is excited . keep saying cool , cool , cool (!) indeed friend , you do help me alot by keeping me smiling whenever you say cool . I thinks that's one of your fav words : COOL (!)

Thank you once again to love , zhu dearest & filly (:

Labels: :)

Sunflowy Girl
1:55 AM