Beautifully Imperfect Sunflower

Yesterday was a hard day for me . I feel like dying cause of the fever & the flu but he make me feel alive no matter what . He felt guilty cause he felt that somehow he is at fault for causing me to be sick -_____- . Cause of the bus we took is so freaking cold due to the air-con . HAHAHA !

I feel guilty & bad at the same time too . I keep saying sorry , I feel real bad for being sick . For troubling him . Cause of me he had to work with me till closing but seriously to think back , I am thankful to him cause w/o him I don't know whether I can close the shop. I just wanna thank you again ashraf for being there for me always w/o fail . Thank you for your care & concern . Thank you for being my legs when I can't hardly walk yesterday night . I know it's tough on you , I know you're tired yet you still wanna keep me feel alive yesterday .

I cried cause there's no other guys treated me like how you did . not even him .

I must admit that I fall for you all over again . Thank you Ash ke Ash ! I maybe stubborn most of the times but today I listened to you again . Actually , I always listen to you :p

& now I am at home alone . Thank god there's Nur to keep me company today . Thank god that I have a best friend like her . Who cares about me & will bring food for me willingly (:

Unexpected much but I guess she loves me deep deep yaw ~

I am missing you buddy-love !

Sunflowy Girl
12:19 AM

you were sweet most of the time , but today you were extra sweet . It makes me wonder but for now I just wanna thank you for being sweet so sweet like sugar :p

Thank you for being my friend at times . No doubt , I enjoyed all the bus rides home with you be it in good or bad times . I treasure every moments I had with you , I will treasure every of it.

Sunflowy Girl
10:15 AM

Thanks to N , I fall in love with this song :)
& again the song made me cried . BABENG betul -________- .

Sunflowy Girl
12:30 PM

yesterday I saw N & R ^^ . Damn only Allah knows how happy I am to bumped into them & surprised N with a hug from behind , zanna was there to witnessed one of my happiness moments in life . HAHA! We hugged , we kissed cheek to cheek . And now , I am listening to N songs . You know what N ? your songs never fails to make me cry . I am missing N already , I miss L too . Even though L made another confessions I still wanna be at L side every now & then cause maybe L knows how to take care of my heart . Even N does & R too . Ohh well my short forms habit starting again . I think for now , by using short forms is better :)

Sunflowy Girl
11:06 AM

I must admit that I miss RUSYAI-DINA too♡

& of course I can't wait to meet their new brother too . Insyallah (:

Sunflowy Girl
10:15 AM

today I was late but as soon as I spotted her I put a wide smile on my face & I hugged her . Yes , I miss her .

but what can I say she miss me more than I miss her . Today I was her listening ear , she talked non-stop & all I could do was to listened to her stories , complaints & etc . I waited patiently for her to finished talking then I gave her some advices . Well B ,there's no need for you to rush in love . Don't force yourself to know other guys , maybe this time round let love comes to you . Miracle can happen anytime , anywhere ^^ . You know , I'll always be here . I appreciate you , your words for me . I will always treasure you , I thank you for not judging me in such ways like some people do before . Thank you for accepting the real me , thank you for hearing me out every time . I am glad even though I am late I still make your night a wonderful one , I am happy cause I made you smile & laugh today ^^ . No matter what , you will always be the person who never judge me in every ways that's possible . Thank you & somehow I hope you won't fall for me again but too bad you already fallen for me . What can I do B ? hahaha ! I am sorry to say that I am straight , fully straight eh B ;) Love you ~

I feel slightly better with you around B . hee !

Sunflowy Girl
9:58 AM

I must admit it's different w/o you around :( , it's quiet ... I must admit I can feel the loneliness already . Sigh ...

Sunflowy Girl
3:30 AM

does the lyrics seems familiar to you ? (;
Ash , you can count on me . Zhu , 4Some Gf's , Famous Amos family members , Beloved Family & of course sakinah . No matter what I won't give up trying (:

Sunflowy Girl
1:38 PM

And today , I shall blog mainly about him♡

" Just the way you are " its a song , sang by Bruno Mars . The moment I heard the song , it makes me think of us . The way we accept each other in every ways that is possible .

when I see your face , there's not a thing that I would change .

Cause you're amazing just the way you are♡.

Like you said , I have always been a great companion to you . Well I must admit that you have always been a great companion to me too be it in good or bad times . Soon , it's gonna be a year since the day we met . Of course I wanna thank Allah too cause I met you at Famous Amos . I must admit I have never regretted working at Famous Amos even if the hourly rate is little at least what matters most is that I have met & make a lot of new bunch of good , kind , funny friends through out 11 months plus at FA . Be it paragon , 313 & Tampines Mall (:

& the most memorable & important part is when you & me become buddies .

We became real close , we almost share everything in our hearts & minds ... we share secrets too .

Ash ke Ash , you're one of my best friend , brother , companion , buddy , someone to confide in , someone I can call to at any hour when I have nightmares in the middle of the night crying , my one & only pom ke pom pom aka my lover ;)

you've changed me , I wanna thank you for that again & again .

When I was at my lowest point of life , you were my light in the dark somehow my saviour in life .

Thank you for accepting the real me , I treasure you♡

Sunflowy Girl
12:08 PM

sometimes i wish i could be brave like nadrah , but for now I can't . I just had to endure all those shits . I wish I could share the pain with Nadrah but she's having attachment :( .

I don't wish to disturb her yet , not now . Hee , I am waiting for the right moment to share all my stories with her . hee just her & me .

Nadrah , are we fated to have the same fate ? This fate is killing me silently .

Ohh girl , I miss you kissing me on the cheeks ! HAHAHA I must admit I MISS YOU luh babeng putih !

& of course Nabilah too ! :(

Sunflowy Girl
10:50 AM

While waiting for buddy to wake up from his nap , I went to youtube & saw this !

Those lyrics kinda make me laugh :) Buddy , WAKE UP !! Sleep only -_- . Who's the babeng over here ? HAHAHA !

Sunflowy Girl
8:37 AM

I woke up by feeling so confused , the first thing I do was to text someone telling that someone I need that someone badly . I don't why but well I am just confused with things surrounding me again . Believe it or not , I rather work today but sadly it's my off day -_- . I didn't not sleep like a pig but I woke up early than I expected to be . HAHAHA ! Maybe my body & mind is used to wake up early . Lucky is early not VERY EARLY . After so many years for not going down to Bedok Reservoir , today is the day I went for a jog with nur . Impromptu but Fulahmak , HEAVEN !!! :DDBut I must admit that with nur around me is not easy not easy to jog or worst run . I can't bear to see her walking ALONE . So yeah in the end we ran , jogged & brisk walked . HAHAHA REMIX !

But I am glad we managed to complete that ONE BIG CICRLE . It was tiring but it was a memorable one again . Today I made another confession to mom , I feel goooood sharing with her again . Even though at times she may be a bit annoying , she's the BEST MOM/SISTER IN THE WORLD. She understand me the most , always . She told me one of her dreams is to see me "NAIK PELAMIN" ALERT in 4 years time . I will be 22 by then -_- . KEKEK ! I am still young .

I just haven't met HIM yet . My Ganteng Cowok !

So yeah , one thing for sure I don't know how long can I endure with that kind of memories sake parts . I said a prayer to Allah to give me more strength . Hopefully everything gonna be alright soon :)

I just can't wait to go for another jog session with nur or maybe with nad tagging along too .

Woohooo I feel so good after a long run ^_^ .

Sunflowy Girl
8:11 AM

I just wanna hit the sack with a peaceful mind & a smile on my face but sadly I can't .

Things gonna be worse sooner or later . everything gonna falls apart once again . She's not dead yet her loved ones discussing about her wealth . IMMATURE -_- TTM . I just don't get it , why ?!

Damn it to all the heartless people , step harta boleh bawak mati jer . step duit boleh buat orang bahagia forever jer . If only I had the chance to voice out , I would but now I don't have any .

The most saddest part is when I don't have her by my side anymore :( . I try putting myself in her shoes again & I finally understood . It takes time to forgive someone sincerely .

I still love you no matter what tetot♥

those pictures just can't get out of my mind , damn it . another nightmare -_-

Sunflowy Girl
10:50 AM

I don't understand what's going on right now , I don't know why it's easy for people to hurt me then just walk away w/o any sorry . I wonder why at times they could pretend like nothing happened before . I wonder why can't I just be heartless like them , god damnit luh seriously . Why can't I just be freaking heartless like them . Damn it I feel like giving up already . Damn I need my B , my only honey B who always knows how to cheer me up & console me with her sweet words & warm hug . I need her as much as she needs me everyday . I am sorry , damn I just hate the fact that I can't tell her things like I used to everyday :( . Damn , I miss you so badly . No matter what , you know me the best . My hatred , my love for someone , my deepest secrets.

well maybe to think back everyone has their own problems so I guess I just don't let it out to any soul . Just endure with everything , another dugaan came & I am sure I can go through this .

I just miss her a lot , I even cried for her now days . I just miss being around with someone who truly appreciate me & love me like she does . I miss N too . I miss her hugging me & kissed me when every time we met . I miss you N .

I am just tired . Tired of always putting myself into other people shoes .

Tired of being too forgiving until people take advantage of me & I didn't realize it again -_-

Maybe just maybe it's better to keep it all inside like how I used to . I am tired of sharing cause people keep judging , keep getting hurt too .

now it's just between me & Allah . It's better this way after so much shits that have been going on lately , in the past & currently .

Sunflowy Girl
11:16 AM

today I smell like you , today was a totally different cause your smells like everywhere .

my clothes smells of you . I don't know why but the smell was so strong & it gave me a hard time to breathe at times . But I can't deny the fact that your smell will always linger around me . I just wonder why ... I thought I saw you at the reflection but no it's not you .

Sunflowy Girl
10:50 AM

If you ever forget how much you mean to me , everyday I will remind you .

You will always have my shoulder to cry , I never let go never say goodbye & that's what true buddies do.

You can count on me like 1 2 3 , I will be there (:

Yes , kita kena sentiasa bersyukur . Alhamdullilah now I can see that you keep saying ,

" Hidup kena bersyukur mah " (:

-Love you -

Sunflowy Girl
8:50 AM

GIRLS , I FREAKING LOVE YOU 4SOME :)

YOU FOUR WILL ALWAYS BE THE TRUE FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT .

Sunflowy Girl
11:48 AM

For us I will stay strong buddy love . It's gonna be a year soon , I just can't bear myself to walk away . LY B-LUV ;)

Sunflowy Girl
2:38 PM

Tonight is another night at the playground n0.3 -_- .

Finally you admitted that I have gained weight. A lot of people keep saying I have gained weight due to blessed in love . HAHAHAHAHA LOL ! Maybe . Maybe Not . Ohhh well , it's all because of listening to ashraf too much . Nehmind , you just wait & see ;)

For telling me that , I shall LOSE MORE WEIGHT & START DIETING BACK & PLUS GO JOGGING MORE OFTEN . Woohoo BAHAGIA ! :D

I shall not listen to you for now until I reach my ideal weight . HAHAHA !

You can't stop me from running this time round . Imma got back-up plans ready :)

One day , we will ride on the camel together . We will ride it along singapore roads especially Tampines . One thing for sure never ever will I forget all the jokes I have shared with you .

Never ever will I forget the first time I saw you on my first day at work . Never ever will I forget the day when we sang our lungs out like NO BODY BUSINESS & DANCE too ;) .

IMYSM ~

Sunflowy Girl
1:52 PM

HAHAHAHA YES ZHU ! I SAW IT AT ZARA ;)

Sunflowy Girl
1:50 PM

.YOU.

Every cuts you had in your hands and fingers will always make me worry more & of course my heart bleed a little more each weeks . Today I felt so happy cause we get to spend time with each other even for a short period I enjoyed & cherished all the moments I had with you in the bus ride home . I know human beings tend to make mistakes but we should really learn from our mistakes & not to repeat it again . Everything gonna be alright :)

You won't lose me just like that cause you really tried hard , fight hard to woo me . LOL

Just a gentle reminder that I accept you for who you are too & no don't worry you won't lose me unless you make me want to go :p

I LOVE YOU . I MISS YOU . I NEED YOU .♥ .

Sunflowy Girl
12:30 PM

7th october - I was left alone to recalled all those sweet & sour memories I had with you . You were very closed to me . Very Very closed to me . Never ever there will be a day I forget about you & the date . The days I spent with you was very memorable ones even for the shortest period of time , I know I love you truly so deep too . It was a unexplainable feelings , all I know is I LOVE U :D

You will always be in my heart & on my mind until my last breath ~

9th october - is the day I went to USS with my girls & Nad's Family members !

Everybody sure had FUN till they drop TIRED ;) hahaha !

And of course it's nadrah & mine friendship day today . Wooohooo so lucky of us to celebrate it together with so many people , at universal studio lagi . hee ~

Pictures will be upload soon ! :)

Of course I end my night with buddy love & with the Famous Amos Brothers & Sisters Convo at Facebook . They just make my night a memorable one again . Get well soon Kak Nisa :D

I really love them all to bits , they're cooooooooooool !

Sunflowy Girl
11:57 AM

Sunflowy Girl
9:51 AM

And maybe it's not me till the end.

Yes maybe it's just little too complicated to explains everything.

Sunflowy Girl
9:47 AM

Lately I have been spending time with my loved ones such as my relatives & my girls .

Having so many days off is like heaven . I miss spending time with my girls a lot especially nadrah. I enjoyed myself to the fullest . I enjoyed being the planner for nurrahaan 18 birthday . I enjoyed having dinner with nadrah & nabilah . I enjoyed staying late at nadrah's crib . I don't feel like going home but mom, jut mom can't stop nagging about me sleeping at my best friend house

-_- . Whatever it is I can't wait to see them again this weekend . woooooohoooo USS !!!! :D

Today I went raya visiting with my relatives , it was great & memorable .

The most memorable parts is to performed prayers together with ZHU . It's been a long time , long time since we prayed together . I feel happy , I just don't know why ^_^ .

The funny part is before we start our prayers she called me " bodoh " . hahaha tahu bersalah then mintak maaf eh dekat Allah . hahahaa perangai biadap tu oi .

And of course joked around with the " wanmandi " . hahaha the 3 super gerek cousin brothers I ever had in my entire life . huhuhu esp Abang Iman :D

They just love to make FUN of me w/o fail . sigh people love to make fun of me , fated .

Lucky for them I am a cheerful girl & not that serious person or not they DIE . lol

So yeah , overall I enjoyed my day . hell no , I don't think at all about work . YES indeed for the very FIRST time I am not worried about work cause maybe it's time to do & think about something that really matters to me . that is to start school again ^_^ , w/o mom making the decision this time round . woooooohoooo !

~ Goodnight people ~

will be gone for awhile from blogger & facebook♥

Wanna enjoy my life to the fullest before my off days end .

Sunflowy Girl
9:14 AM