I keep on smiling & laughing today , do you notice that ? that today ; I am different (;

I just fear that things will change . I am scared when things change & when people do . It's scary & weird too . If I get in , things will change from there . I will be busy ... From there onwards things , people , situation will change . I am super super scared whenever I think I get that offer . Damn it , but to think again it's for my future . I'll just keep continue praying hard that my loved ones will understand me like how I understand them every time when they're busy with their work & own life(s) . No matter what happen(s) , I still need my loved ones support .

Before people change their attitude ; they'll say no I won't change a bit but after they have change they start to give reasons why(s) . Through out my 18 years , I have seen a lot of changes in my loved ones including myself . At times I feel happy but most of the time , I feel hurt w/o them notice it . Sigh , I wish things would stay the same but it's impossible .