I have a secret , everyone has many secrets including me . It's all up to you wether you wanna be open to someone & tell what is your deepest secret in life . But again at times it's better to left it untold , let it just be between you & god . Lately I keep hearing more truth facts from someone , it hurt me a lot . I have tried to control my emotions but its useless , the emotions get controlled of me yesterday . I cried for them , I cried hard . I miss them but it's useless now . It seems like everything I do to save it from falling apart is useless . I know I have tried my best in this 7 years but at the second thought I think I didn't . I keep asking myself why , why & why is this happening now ? Why must it be now ? I know all the facts is true but I still somehow can't accept the fact like she does . Why can't the 3 of them let bygones be bygones ? like she . She really wanted to change for the better , for the friendship . I can see & sense it but why can't they give a freaking chance ?! Why myst there be EGO again ? Seriously , I don't understand why now must this happened to us , wait to you & her & her only . GRUDGES WON'T BRING YOU NOWHERE ! I still love you 4 the same . Frankly speaking , where's your freaking guts to solve this matter ? I am out .

THINK . Till when I am gonna be here always solving this problems in this friendship . Till when? I can't be here forever , I will die one day but I don't know when . Maybe until I really forgive that particular someone . But even if I die one day , my soul won't rest in peace knowing that my friends will go on with their separate ways . Ya allah , it really hurt me . I know you all are hurt too but why can't each of you come forward & tell each other ? Come on , life is short . Please don't waste your time by holding grudges deep down your heart .

I am not saying here that I am a perfect best friend . I had made mistakes too , that sometimes really let you girls down . But never ever I let a problem leave unsettle in this friendship . I will always try , give & do my never ending best to tighten up this friendship . At times I neglected you all due to my work & busy life . But here I am trying to change for the better but the 2 of you ? And sometimes when some outings is cancelled due to I can't make it cause my family members didn't allowed me to go & fear of my safety ; I am sorry girls . And thank you for your understanding . I appreciate it a lot . Whenever we fight or have some misunderstandings between all of us , it really break my heart into bazillion pieces & affected me a lot . I am just so disappointed when I get to know that all this while one of you were just staying in this friendship cause of me & my happiness . Please girls , this is not the end ....

Sunflowy Girl
6:49 AM