Day by day I keep reminding myself to be good , to be better in what I do , what I say & write , to be the person that no one expect that I can be. I have plans about my future , about what I want to do next but all I can say is I maybe the planner of my life but Allah is always there to make the final decisions for me . The changes I making lately may hurt my friends feelings or anyone else but I really felt that I need to change for people to really appreciate me while I am still here . Like seriously .

Lately I found myself so angry/rude towards some people who had been picking on me early in the morning & assuming things that I never do or worst say . Can you imagine standing up for yourself (without no one help?) with a person in their early 30's ? It was so stressful & even if I told & shared stories with him at the end of the day I will be one standing up for myself . And not even my mom or Allah can help me in this . To make The right choice . 

The first time when she said something rude to me in front of my part-timers , I kept my mouth shut & told myself to be strong & not to fight back . And respect . 

The list goes on & on , she kept hurting me with her harsh words & even her own best friend can't offer help with her vicious mouth. Until one fine day early in the morning she really go beyond my line to test my patience , then I realized it's time to STAND UP for myself & show her & the rest what I can be when I am angry . At that point of time , I am really proud of myself for being able to typed the message rudely & with common sense of course towards her . She's just too much & immature I must say to joked about something serious . For god sake , I have changed to be more serious & firm in my work & life. Take that . :)

Sadly , she didn't stop there yet after 3 days had passed she assumed me of interfering in some people arguments without getting the facts right . Childish much I must say . Cause I really got the facts right and she is just another busybody person herself . I merely gave my true & honest opinions towards a friend when she told me her side of her story. And she's unhappy . And the next thing I know I received a rude text from her & again it's in the morning. That point of time , I really can't take it and so I vented it all out towards her regardless of her position(  I don't give a damn ! ) , I really showed her what I can do & even if she have back up ....... who is she anyway ? What I know she's not a god & I am not afraid of her .

She apologized but only god knows wether she is sincere about that & wanting to change in her attitude & in her bluntly words that she always used to others. ( Must always think on the bright side eh :) ) All I can say now , I can never be the old sabrina that I used to be . Now , I can stand up for myself & more firm & I must thank my mom for what I am today .

And even if I quit I won't lose anything cause they are the one who suffer cause they have lost my twin & if my turn comes ...... They're ones who suffer big losses in their company because we've a great passion in baking , drawing & we love art . And we're talented & I believe I can go far to achieve greater things in life.

May god bless you all of you :)

Sunflowy Girl
10:53 PM